Shira Klazmer, LPC
Living a "Soft" Life
Updated: Aug 31, 2022
A client recently inspired me by sharing their intention for living a "soft" life. The concept really stuck with me.
It had me thinking back to what life must have been like 100s of years ago. No technology, no social media, less instant gratification, less rush, less stress...
As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) myself, I think I would have thrived in that type of environment.
I often remind my clients to tune in to the feeling underneath the day to day tasks we all tend to do on autopilot. I might ask:
Why did you choose that shirt today instead of a different shirt?
Why did you sit in that chair instead of the other one?
How did you know you wanted a sandwich instead of soup for lunch?
We passively experience our lives in many ways. We also often seek distraction and stimulation in most things. It's hard to take a trip to the grocery store without feeling overstimulated. It's hard to sit in traffic or a waiting room or the airport without listening to something on the stereo/headphones, or making a phone call, or looking at our phones. It's hard to brush our teeth or clean the house without listening to a podcast/music or watching tik tok videos or talking to a friend on the phone. We are constantly "on" and distracted and stimulated. This arguably makes for a "hard" life, not a "soft" one.
I challenge you to tune in and slow down. Notice the intention behind the small things.
A few ways to do this:
Try to walk a bit slower.
Catch yourself feeling rushed and take a deep breath.
Check in every few hours and do a body scan from head to toe. Are you holding tension somewhere? Breathe into it and release. Stand up and stretch.
Notice the times you struggle with silence and try to fill it with stimulation (podcasts, TV, social media, phone calls).
Take a moment as you get dressed each day and seek curiosity in your outfit choice.
Focus on what it actually feels like while brushing your teeth.
Stop and really look at people you interact with. Notice something new about them (the pattern of the shirt they are wearing, the different colors that make up their eyes, the shape and energy of their smile, the tone of their laughter).
Look at your social calendar and ask yourself if you really need to commit to all of it.
Make time for 10 minutes of silence each day where you don't have to be doing anything. You could just sit. You could just lay. You could just stand.
Good luck enjoying the softness.